the inside of the eyelid

plus henry taylor, linda bark, etc. 🚪

opening remarks

ISO: dog hoodie for human girl

My bestie/roommate Sofia is having a Broad City-themed birthday party this coming weekend, so naturally I am in the market for a dog sweatshirt so I can recreate this look:

out of all the iconic outfits from this show, this is definitely my favorite.

It’s proving astonishingly difficult to find one with ear holes? And figure out the sizing charts/apply them to my anatomy? Anyone with leads on human-sized dog sweatshirts can contact me at ilanawexler@mindmyvagina.com. The last word on this matter (until I inevitably post a picture of me in the complete look in next week’s newsletter) is this adorable dog sweatshirt review:

misstrendy you made me sob and cry and fall on the floor

baked some brownies

If you follow me on Instagram you already heard about this so you can skip to the next section. But if you don’t—hi! I made an animated short film! About two girls who get stoned and go to the movies AKA my favorite activity! And I also made an accompanying Instagram post kinda explaining the backstory of the project.

thumbnail hehe

I am super excited to get back into animating!! I already started my next project, which I’ll post updates about every so often in this newsletter—including an upcoming casting call lol first come first serve to my lovely readers 🥰. I learn so much from every project (like that Kirsten Dunst quote “Each movie is kind of its own planet”) and the biggest (albeit most obvious) lesson I learned from making Brownies is that involving other people makes the project better! And to not be afraid of sharing my work and the world I’m creating with other people because filmmaking is a community art and that’s so beautiful! Anyway!

Click here to watch Brownies!

pondering my crystal ball

I randomly went to the Pinterest Predicts Pop-Up over in the Meatpacking District this week with my cool and stylish boss Teneille, who was instantly whisked away to be interviewed by a team of fashion forecasters with tiny microphones as soon as we walked in. The space was decorated with shoppable spotlights of different trends (ie blue makeup, melty metal, bows (sorry but isn’t that already a trend? Sandy Liang Baggu collab anyone?), something called “eclectic grandpa,” etc). I had one extremely minor celeb sighting which was that they had Dude with Sign in there talking to people, who I found out via his Wikipedia page is ‘produced by Jerry Media (formerly Fuck Jerry)’ whatever that means?

What are your trend predictions for 2024?

camera roll museum

deer and seal (two of the cutest animals) collab

all the comments were like “this was so scorpio of her” lmao

oh the things I would do to have this goddamn sheltie handbag—I cried when I saw the words “pickup only” on its listing located in warrington, pennsylvania

reco

• Linda Bark

  One question—have you seen this dog?

  

  In the tradition of Amy Sedaris’s unhinged realtor character Pam (speaking of Broad City!) and that 18-year-old realtor from the “How to Invest in Real Estate” episode of How to with John Wilson, I present to you Linda Bark as the new realtress/comedienne who’s taking Instagram by storm. It’s voiceover animal comedy in the realm of Adam Sandler doing a generic “woman” timbre, but really it’s so much more than that. This dog has fucking star power. And her wig is NOT coming off.

  

  you know that she’s known for the bob…

  Here’s the official/unofficial guide to the Linda Bark filmography:

  1. Start with this video

  2. Then this is one where she gets a little unhinged

  3. Sometimes she’s not a realtor but a landlord? And she gets unhinged here too

  4. Another landlord gem

  5. And another!

  Linda Bark is the moment. But due to the nature of the Internet and the nicheness of her schtick, it’s extremely likely that by the time I post this, that moment will already be over. I diagnose that her star may already be waning as we speak! It’s so fascinating watching an explosively viral account scramble to capitalize off of their fifteen seconds of fame, to get more wishes from the genie. How will the cards play out? Will MisterMainer1 be able to gain purchase and install Linda Bark as the reigning queen of funny animalism? Or is this another Davinki situation, destined to be irrelevantized by the cruel and rapid passage of Internet time? We’ll see!

• Henry Taylor: B Side at the Whitney

  “I paint everyone, or I try to.” Henry Taylor at the Whitney guys!!! Who doesn’t love a big ol painting! Super incredible to be up close and personal with these gorgina paintings, most of them done from memory or photographs, all of which capture such a profound depth of emotion, essence, Black life, Los Angeles, etc. The photos don’t do it justice, obviously—go if you can! It’ll be on display until the end of next month (Jan 28)!

  

  

  

• “Ruined” by Adrienne Lenker

  I’m not much of a music writer—in the direct ancestor to this newsletter, out of the 56 total things I recommended, there were literally only 4 music recs (Nymph by Shygirl, “Cue” by Yellow Magic Orchestra, SAP by Okay Kaya, and Bordeaux by Robin Guthrie and Harold Budd). But sometimes I like a song, okay! And I like this song! Long live Adrienne Lenker!

current consumption

Watching: Dawn of the Planet of the Apes (2014), True Romance (1993), The Boy and the Heron (2023), The Curse episodes 3, 4, and 5, Ink Master s15e8, The Mating Game (2021) episode 4

Reading: The Centre by Ayesha Manazir Siddiqi, Play It As It Lays by Joan Didion

enrichment activity

Ingredients:

• Eyelids

• Paper

• Color drawing supplies (colored pencils, crayons, markers, oiI pastels, etc.)

• Lamp

Process:

1. Wait until it is night

2. Turn all the lights off

3. Close your eyes

4. Ask yourself, “What do I see?”

5. Draw what you see on the insides of your eyelids

6. Open your eyes

7. Turn on the lamp, pointed away from you (if it’s not that kind of lamp, simply place it a few feet away, or behind you)

8. Close your eyes

9. Ask yourself, “What do I see now?”

10. Draw what you see on the insides of your eyelids

11. Open your eyes

12. Leave the lamp on but move it closer or turn it towards your face

13. Close your eyes

14. Ask yourself, “What do I see now?”

15. Draw what you see on the insides of your eyelinds

16. Open your eyes